Marcia, Marcia, Marcia: Or Why Thanksgiving Always Gets the Short End of the Stick

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Did you ever get the feeling that as far as holidays go, Thanksgiving is sort of the awkward middle sister? Think about it. Halloween is the fun baby of the fam that maybe doesn’t pull its weight but you can help loving all the same, and Christmas is the perfect older one that does everything right and makes all the youngin’s pale in comparison no matter how hard they try. And Thanksgiving is just kinda… there. In the middle. The day you think about as an afterthought after you’ve figured out your Halloween costume and before you crack down on the Christmas shopping.

Poor Thanksgiving. It sucks being in the middle. Unless you happen to be sitting in a movie theater with Hugh Jackman on one side and Johnny Depp on the other, in which case– Win! But otherwise? You’re an afterthought. No matter what you do, you can’t compete with those flashy siblings. You get called the “smart” one, when everyone knows smart is really just code for “not the pretty one.” You get all the hand-me-down clothes, and left behind at gas-station bathrooms on family trips. Maybe your parents even mistake a picture that you post on facebook during celebrity-doppleganger week as actually being you, because they genuinely can’t tell their child from a total stranger. Just throwing out some hypothetical situations, here (*cough* Mom and Dad guilt trip *cough*).

But though I can totally relate to Thanksgiving, truth be told? Even I kinda wanna get it over with so we can get on with Christmas already. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a day that’s all about eating as much as humanly possible (only I usually just call that Tuesday), and family togetherness is great and everything (bla bla bla), but Thanksgiving really drew the short end of the stick, activities-wise. I mean, no trick or treating, no candy, no costumes, no caroling, no cheesy Lifetime movies, no presents– there’s just no buildup! Maybe that’s because it has somehow miraculously escaped from being over-commercialized, but guess what? I’m a consumer! I’m that person who buys those stupid gadgets they lay out by the check-out counter that no one actually needs or even uses, but it’s only a dollar! and for some reason I desperately need it for those two seconds that I’m standing in line, even though I usually just forget it in the car afterward!

Also, it should be noted, Christmas really plays dirty. By mid-November, 99.9 is already playing Christmas music, ABC Family has already started running its 25 Days ‘Til Christmas countdown (though if you look at the title, that’s just logistically way off), and the other day at Blockbuster I saw a sequel to Mrs. Miracle starring Kaylee from Firefly. How can I NOT watch that? How can I not???? Plus, they’re premiering a new Santa movie on ABC Family (not sure what it’s even about, but it’s already TiVOed) and Holiday in Handcuffs is just sitting in my DVD case, waiting to be viewed. What shameless bid for attention, Christmas. But… well played, Navidad. Well played.

 

However, no matter how flashy and tempting early Christmas celebration may be, as a middle child myself, I have to stand in solidarity with my fellow middle siblings. Jan, I got your back. Thanksgiving, we cool. I WILL switch 99.9 to a different station, even if they are playing “All I Want For Christmas is You” (low blow, Delilah). I WILL NOT rent Mrs. Miracle 2 until the turkey has officially been eaten. I WILL NOT start my Christmas shopping until every piece of the pumpkin pie has been consumed. And I WILL NOT force my brother to watch Holiday in Handcuffs with me until Black Friday has officially begun– but then you better believe A.C. Slater and Sabrina the Teenage Witch are gonna hook up!

And furthermore, I’m going to try to remember all of my fondest memories of Thanksgiving and not be in a rush to have it over with. Like watching a marathon of Parental Control with the sibs– ’cause nothing makes you more grateful for your own parents than watching that show (even if they can’t tell you apart from Kirsten Dunst). Or spending two wonderful Thanksgivings in England and trying to explain to Brits why it’s essential to have a day where we do nothing but eat and “fat dog it” (try saying that with a British accent. It’s awesome). Or the year that I went to the Macy’s Parade with Sarah and Jeni and got haunted by a ghost (true story. Kind of…) So I guess what I’m trying to say is– Thanksgiving? I love you. Even if you are just the smart one.

 

This picture is both hilarious and disturbing. Just how I like my Thanksgivings.

 

 

 

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About lissag7

Elizabeth Gilliland is an aspiring writer/dreamer/pirate who loves a good story more than just about anything else... except maybe chocolate. This is her place to create and dream and share just a little nugget of what's going on in her little corner of the 'verse.

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