Monthly Archives: January 2013

Dear Anne Hathaway (Or A Long Overdue Apology)




Dear Annie,


I’ll be the first to admit it. When I found out that you were starring in two of the most highly anticipated films of the year (aside from The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, that is), some pretty harsh words were thrown around. Things like “poo-poo head” and “silly billy.” I may or may not have even implied that you were ruining my life— because, yes, I am exactly the sort of person whose life would be ruined by a subpar Catwoman performance (just to give a little background, I have two younger brothers and watched a lot of “boy” shows growing up, so pretty much the only thing more potentially disappointing for me would be if you’d been cast as the Pink Ranger). Things got a little dramatic in the Gilliland household this year, and a lot of that was at your expense.



In my defense, may I present some evidence of why I was so wary. Exhibit A) The 2011 Oscars. Not your best moment, Annie. Not your best moment. Exhibit B) One Day, which was such a lovely, charming book, and such a stinker of a movie (though to be fair, that wasn’t entirely your fault. You tried your best, even I could see that, but they should’ve cast a Northern girl whose performance didn’t revolve around trying to get the accent right). Exhibit C) Bride Wars. Do I really need to go into further detail on this? Exhibit D) See above Poo-Poo head comment. I think I rest my case.



But when I’m wrong, I can admit I’m wrong. White really shouldn’t be worn after Labor Day (as some very unflattering vacation photos would testify). Harry and Hermione didn’t actually end up together, despite the many, MANY theoretical essays I wrote about J.K. Rowling’s romantic endgame (yep, still single, folks). And the only thing better than your femme fatale performance as Selina Kyle? Was the way you flat-out rocked Fantine.



So on behalf of all the fans who doubted and all the haters who hated, I would like to issue my formal and heartfelt apology. I’m sorry. I was wrong. You dreamed a dream, and it paid off big-time. Good luck at the 2012 Academy Awards—I’ll be rooting for you.  And in closing, to quote what I used to say to my college roommate before we went to bed every night, “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”


Yours Truly,




P.S. Now that we’re besties, can you introduce me to Hugh? For some reason he still won’t return my phone calls…



Say what? Who’s that hiding in my closet…?